Unusual Awakening
by badly-knitted
Summary: As mornings go, this one is among the strangest, and the most disturbing, Ianto's ever had. A spot of humour written for a prompt on comment fic.


**Title:** Unusual Awakening

 **Author:** badly-knitted

 **Characters/Pairing:** Jack/Ianto

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word Count:** 662

 **Summary:** As mornings go, this one is among the strangest, and the most disturbing, Ianto's ever had.

 **Spoilers:** Nada

 **Written For:** marlex's comment_fic prompt 'Any, any/any, they woke up with no memory of the night before completely naked with no sign of their clothes anywhere'

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters. Which is sad.

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 **DomIantoRules:** _Re: Through Time And Space:_ Thank you! I am hoping to write more in the 'verse when I have the time to focus on it. I have a couple of ideas I'd like to write, including a meeting with the Doctor, which most lkely will be Eleven as he's my favourite.

 _Re: Little Green Men:_ Yes, it IS Four's fault, he was my favourite of the Classic Doctors, I grew up watching him though Three was my first Doctor. If anyone would get aliens addicted to Jelly Babies, it would be him! Thank you!

 _Re: Stranded On Halloween:_ Thank you! I don't write long stories often simply because they are time and labour intensive and I don't often have the time to spare to focus on them. Through Time and Space took me over a year to write and I don't like leaving reades hanging for so long, not knowing if, or when, I'll be able to finish writing and posting a story. I do have a couple of other stories I'm working on that will come out at over 10,000 words each when I eventually get them finished, but I don't know how long that will take.

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Ianto stirred and groaned, waking reluctantly; the light was too bright, he felt a little chilly and kind of damp. Which didn't make sense, but his brain was too fuzzy to work out why, not unusual first thing in the morning. He felt someone shift beside him.

"Jack?" he mumbled groggily.

"Last time I checked."

There was a scuffling sound as Jack moved, but Ianto was reluctant to open his eyes. They must have left the curtains open last night and the sun was shining in.

"Damn, last night must have been amazing!" Jack sounded almost awed.

"What do you mean 'must have been'? Don't you remember?"

"Nope, not a thing. D'you?"

Ianto thought back. He remembered leaving the Hub with Jack to catch a rogue Weevil, but after that… nothing. His mind was completely blank. Fuzzy thoughts were business as usual, especially after a long night, but he could usually remember what happened, except for that one time with the Retcon. He cracked one eye open carefully and winced at the early sunshine. The sky was bright blue, not a cloud in sight. At least it looked like it would be a nice day.

Ianto's thoughts trailed off. He shouldn't be able to see that much of the sky through the window, not even with the curtains left open. Gradually his muzzy brain registered that there were no curtains, which made sense, as there was no window, or even a wall. Slowly, he opened his other eye.

"Jack? Are we outside? Stupid question. _Where_ outside are we?"

"The beach? That would be my guess."

Oh. Well, that explained why the mattress felt hard, lumpy and unpleasantly gritty. Wait a minute… Ianto sat up quickly and looked down at himself.

"Bloody hell, I'm naked!"

"You're not the only one. Looking good, Mr Jones!"

Ianto spun around and met Jack's appreciative leer with a stony glare.

"This is neither the time nor the place, Jack. And I mean that literally!"

"Sorry, couldn't help myself." Well, it was Jack, so that was probably true. Flirting was his default setting, after all.

Staring about at the deserted beach, Ianto fought the urge to cover himself with his hands.

"Where are our clothes?"

"Beats me." Jack stretched luxuriously and Ianto snuck a look. His body peppered with sand and speckled with drops of dew, Jack looked like some kind of Greek God… Ianto quickly slammed the lid on that thought before his body could react inappropriately. Under other circumstances, such a reaction would be entirely appropriate, but being naked in public was quite bad enough, thank you very much! He didn't want to risk being arrested for lewd behaviour as well as indecent exposure, should they run into the police on their way back to the Hub. Because the day had only just started and Ianto could already see where it was heading: straight downhill, full speed ahead.

"I suppose we'd better head back to the Hub," Jack sighed reluctantly. "Try to figure out what happened last night."

"It would be the sensible thing to do," Ianto agreed. "I don't suppose you happen to know which direction that would be?"

"I was sort of hoping you did. Maybe there's a road on the other side of those dunes."

'Yep, it's definitely going to be one of those days,' Ianto thought dismally. 'You'd think I'd be used to it by now.' He did his best to dust the sand off himself before turning to face Jack. "Fine, we'll try that. Lead the way."

"Why do I have to go first? I'd much rather walk behind you. The view would be better!"

Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Because if someone comes along, I want to be able to hide behind you, that's why. I'm not exactly comfortable being naked in public, but it never seems to bother you."

"Coward."

"Exhibitionist."

Hurling ever more inventive insults at each other, they set off towards the dunes in search of the way home.

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The End


End file.
